Your mindset will change your life. How you see things and what you say to yourself on a daily basis matter.
Two years ago my husband called me with the news we had been waiting for .. where were we going to call “home” for the next 3 years. If you’ve dealt with the military you’ll understand that you don’t really have a choice in regard to your first duty station so this could have landed us anywhere in the world... which is incredibly terrifying yet oddly exhilarating.
I remember hearing the words “El Paso” like it was yesterday. It’s almost as if time froze as he spoke those words to me on a cracking cell phone call because his service was so poor in the barracks... the ONE duty station I had been warned about, the one place I was praying to God we weren’t going to end up is where we were supposed to go. El Paso, Texas. Exactly 2,375 miles away from home. A 36 hour drive across the country.
I remember sobbing on my best friends floor as I tried to come to terms in the weeks to pass. At least twice a week I randomly ended up at her house in front of her fire place sobbing. Trying to wrap my head around how to handle this big change. Without her I would not have made it through my husband being gone so long for basic training and his schooling after the fact.
This woman quite literally dragged me out of bed for the first 3-4 weeks of adjusting to this new lifestyle. If it wasn’t for her I would likely have flunked a class or two and gone into a severe depression... and now I had to figure out how to be over 2,000 miles away from her and my family. If you know me personally, you know that my family is my world and I do not say that lightly. I would do anything and give up anything for them. They are the ground that I walk on and the roots of who I am.
At some point I started to focus on the fact that I’d finally be reunited with my husband after almost a year of not living with him and having to rely solely on letters or a phone call here or there and call it “communication”. I started to focus more on what I could control. I could control my attitude towards the move, my education and my future.
Looking back on this I see just how far I have come. When I got this news two years ago I was shattered, like my world had come to a halt and I had no idea where to turn or how to fix it.
Fast forward 2 years to present day where we found out that my husband has to go overseas and will be gone for 3+ months. We will miss celebrating his 27th birthday, our 3rd wedding anniversary and however many firsts our son will have while he’s away.
I am more concerned with my son than I am with myself this time around. How he’s going to react to not seeing “Dada” walk through the door every evening and only being able to see him on skype or the prerecorded bedtime video. This is all unknown territory for us, as this will be the first time they are apart for more than a couple weeks.
This time around I’m not sobbing on the floor or asking why it’s happening but instead I am embracing the journey that we are being faced with and remembering to trust that this is the worst of it. My husband and I say this all the time to each other... if we can get through this chapter of life, we can get through anything. I am choosing to hush my anxious words and negative thoughts and focus on the good.
Change your mindset and you’ll change your life.
We are faced with difficult times not to break us but to build us. To build you into the best version of yourself. But you must first choose to see the light and keep pushing onward, because that my friend is where you will find peace and the courage to continue.
Embrace the madness and never stop pushing forward.
XO,
Court
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